still struggling with what happened two and a half years ago
tonight we spoke of baby blankets, and i realized mine is forever gone (among millions of other things i claimed to own)
my baby blanket, with the elephant in the middle and "the dirty corner"
not only this, but my presence is forever gone. i wish i had left a note, but things were too hectic - i didn't know if i'd ever go "home" again. if i had the time to have written one, i would've just slipped it in the closet, a simple message reading "if you've found this, you've found me. forcopeland . deviantart . com" (back when i was for mr. copeland...)
the saddest thing is i want to replace all the hurtful things/memories with good things/memories, but that would be whitewashing over my past, the same way the mortgage company and the bank have whitewashed over the trauma that was my "home"...sometimes i don't understand why i can't do the same.
I GOT A DD? WELL HOT DOG. THANKS TO ALL. ESPECIALLY =ssolaris